Its been 5 months since we last contact..
I wonder how you're doing right now.
I realised that this relationship that we create really bond us together.
I could remember vividly from the day we met as strangers to a lifetime partner. How strong is this relationship we hold?
I was selfish,stubborn and arrogant of what i did/say to you.
I should appreciate for what i have.
I should feel blessed with the love of yours you've given me.
But I threw it away like a dumpster. As easy as i picked a sweet wapper on the floor and dump it onto a rubbish bin.
I never had regretted this far.
I wished time would rewind back to where we make our mistake and solve the problem together.

I've tried to reach you but i held it back.
Cause the "Boys should do his thing,be a gentleman" kind of thing changed my mindset.
Come to think of it, it isn't necessary in the present now.
I should start thinking of what is right and what is wrong when i know it.
I should start standing on my own grounds and be who I really am.


I'm happy and content with the life that i am having now.
Go along with the flow and say ,"Don't mess with me missy" to those who is getting in my way!


Just so you know, 'I've missed you'

First of all, i seriously need an hour of bathing. I stinks you know! *smirks* Anyway, why am i here posting in livejournal back here again? The last time i blogged here was last year in Dec. Woah, but still i have never abandoned livejournal :) LIVEJOURNAL STILL ROCKS!

Okay so I only allowed a few of my dearest friends whom i trusted so much. FEEL HONOURED! Actually,this was my previous blog if you didn't know. I don't know if there are still some people who happens to pass by this blog. If so, well just call yourself lucky cause I'm about to blog about my personal lives.* winks*

So, cause i need some privacy about my little lives recently, my sundaymorning.blogspot has been exposed to so many people. And I don't like it. Cause you know my school has got loads of big filthy mouths. Once they knew about other's people secrets, the next day eventually the whole school will know about it. Isn't this 'awesome'?!  Probably the reason must be when they have got no lives and nothing else to do and they just want to ruin the person's life which in fact it will reflect on the person itself of how bad his/her character is :P (NOT THAT I CARE)
My point is, some people can't possibly SHUT & SEALED their mouth. Happily spreading the rumours around without even knowing it might hurt the person's feeling. Oh,or maybe they are heartless people. I feel sad for them.. NOT. Oh,one more thing I just hate it when people started commenting on people's blog. Idk, i mean bad comments. Can't they just keep it to themselves? Easier said right? I think i should stop complaining.

Anyways, today i had a really bad,sad,outrageously disappointed and worst day ever. It was english lesson before recess. I was so eager to get back English MYE papers and I got excited over it. I was in a very good mood this morning. Throughout the whole morning,my mind was filled with," english papers! english papers!" Until when Mrs Teo scanned through the class list of the number of failures from top to bottom,my heart started pumping very fast. There were a handful of failures. My head was going to explode at that moment. One by one she called out our names. My hands were trembling when i placed my papers on the table. And there it was,a red ink written in big numbers. My mind totally went blanked. It felt like i had just lost in a battle. It felt like i had lost somebody dearest to me in my life. I don't know. All i know that I couldn't let my mind think straight. I failed to compose all my thoughts together. Tears started to fill in beneath my eyelids. But i managed to held back by facing my head to the window. I took my 'Angels & Demons' book and began reading. But that was an excuse to avoid people noticing me. Everyone started to move around and ask " how much you got?"
I just hate it the way people keep on asking," how much you got?" It's really annoying. Only when they scored higher marks than you,they'll go around and busybody asking. I HATE THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE. Can't they just shut up and not bother about comparing marks with others?! stupid jerks.

I skipped recess today. And anyways, i knew that they won't becoming to my class and come fetch me. Oh,i always visualise them coming to my class when i was feeling down. But it turns out the other way round. They never come,and never will happen. It's always bad timing. When i'm down,they are not there for me. (okay,maybe i'm just thinking too much) FUCK IT! What are friends for?

Sometimes it felt like i lost my trust in them already. Maybe cause i've been spending alone and missed out alot of things and restricting myself from hearing their 'HOT' & usual gossips that i wouldn't want to hear. They know me well. But i feel that it's abit unfair. I don't know! It's complicated! To think that they have their own companion in their lives now doesn't mean they have to put ME aside.. That's what i feel. But what about you guys? I feel neglected. Like as if i don't know what has been going on with your lives,actually i do. I have eyes everywhere. Doing things behind my back and not telling or asking or whatever you call it. HAH,drop it.

I felt hurt and sad when i had to find out from other people that you guys were hanging around with the people whom i disapprove.
It's like as if you are betraying your own friend.

I'm one of a hell devil friend. Who could possibly understand how i feel? Honestly, i lost my trust with everyone.
no,i'm just being oversensitive.

I just wish i have a friend who could just listen to all my complaints,my talking,my nonsense,my thoughts,my feelings,my jokes or whatever. And laugh along with me and understand and cheer me up and whatever that could make me happyyyyyyy!

Its always me when it comes to friends. The Big Spoiler.
I sensed that history is repeating again.

Just so you know, everything that i have done good and serve in my life,i have never get any good comments or remarks before. Its like, whatever i do, i don't get the credits. I sacrificed myself and being so commited to the plan but in the end all the credits goes to the other person whom is most likely not doing the job most. Efforts gone to the drain... I feel hopeless and useless. Sometimes i felt like i'm a replacement. What you people call it, second-hand person. pfft,



i lost the sense of being in love with someone.
i lose control of my emotions at times.
i lose in studies.
i lose in art.
i lose in music.
i lose of all my interests.
i lose all my trusted friends whom i treasured them most.
i lose the sense of happiness.




I've got loads of things to say. but i feel that i should stop talking.
haha,goodbye.

This week school was kinda hectic (except monday,tuesday). Too many to mentioned about. So i dont bother typing it here.
All i wanted to post about is BANDBANDBAND. wuahaha -

Wednesday:

Art lesson for 2 hours. i always look forward to art lesson cus we're gonna do something interesting that excite me,ahha! And guess what?we get to pain the chameleon statue with a mix of colours! so cool can! But i didnt started painting yet till next week. And i got jealous when i saw hasnorsa's art piece D: woops 

Ended school early. Me and hafiz just cant wait for nadya to end her class so we just rushed off to band room took out our maces and practice :D i dont know why. It just that we were so eagerr wanting to learn more new mace tricks :D And have i ever mentioned? 


MACE WORKS IS A TOTAL COOLNESS ! :D

ohh definitely ! (:

Had drills for lower sec + some sec3s. And then i had to took over a small group of squad. Okay, my mind was blank at first. Cus i dont know what to command. *slap head* and i kept laughing and jumping around . oh shit. im not serious to conduct the drills. awghh! D: 

"oi,drum majorette! Stay focus and firm lah dey! pfffttt."

i reached home,bathe,took out homework assignments and slept. Clever aren't i? The next day come to school,first thing i know was Wan Ying asked, " Never do homework. Slept the whole night again right?" 

Thursday:

Nothing much happend in class. Just that i paid attention during MT class :D The people sitting around are like so anti-social ): My partner is Farhan. In front of me is Mukmin and Hafif(psst. i dont like this guy :/) On the right,Syazwani and Shireen. And behind them are FARAHFEROZRAMBUTBEEHIVELARIMACAMKUDE and wati. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! so unlucky ):
 
Band after school again without the sec 4s. Which results in sec 3s became the BIG HEADS. chey!ape aku merepek. Eh, the band today quite noisy and i got alittle frustrated . pfftt. Nevermind give chance. :P And then i was told that i need to conduct punishment which i dont know how :/ 
and amabel! my rescuer saved me job :D Actually i kinda had a bad day but oh well,the day is over .

Today:

English lesson was the BESTBESTBEST! Ms Priya let us listen to our mp3 while doing our Narrative Compo writting! Isnt that cool?! *show the peace hand sign* she's the cooooliest english teacher i have ever had man! HAHA.

Uhm,something frightening happend after school,but its okay now. Went to band today for Mace works again! :D 
-i just simply love mace works (:
And i totally missed out Mr Chua's mace tricks!!!! REALLY REGRET IT. ohgoddamnit! shessh! should not have gone home earlier :/
But nevermind! Farhan says that he's gonna teach me next week! YESSA!*skips around the room* thankyouthankyou!

ohhhhhhhhh. i think im going to be a geek person next week. Cus i have like 4 class test on the same week?! grrr. but for the benefit of myself achieve for what i want, yes i will do it :D 

My Art assignments still not yet done. and i got a B grade for my 1st assignment. wtf. gah-
BUCK UP!

HELLO XINGYI! :D



happy?i post your name bigbig liao. LOL

Hey peeps!
i was busy the past few days with orientation. but not anymore! :D

YES
YES
YES
YES
YES

ohh,i wanna say something about the sec ones. They are like !@#%&^*!@ so much worser than last year.
they talk back to us,they even insulted their own classmate with sarcastic words! showing attitude.

but,anyway! i didnt get to enjoy the MOST FUN OF ALL, CAMPFIRE PROGRAMME!! 
all of us were gathered in the hall. Waiting for our guest to come.. 

andddddddddddddddddddddddddddd,LIGHTS OFF!
everybody started to scream their lungs out for JOY !
wooooooooooo!~ 

after principal speech,it was councillors special item! 
Whine up!
Whine up!
OH YEAHH~
i loveeeeeeee it man! had fun dancing so energeticly,hyperactively ! :D
but i missed out the THEME SONG!! arggggggggg! D:

The food people and helpers had to go down halfway and prepare supper for later. and while waiting for the water to boil, we spotted BIG GIGANTIC DISGUSTING RATS running around in the canteen!
SO FREAKY! 

you know,its so coooooooool when you get the chance to take over the sec ones. esp,holding onto the mic ,walkietalkie :D me likeeee!
okayy, and i kinda messed up when i was giving out instructions to the sec ones during meal time. WOOPS. 

* Mrs GGG-LIM* <<< wth?! 
and when i said that,i tried not to laughed. instead of turning to huishi and the rest sitting/standing/guiding/supporting me,laughing about the name. ROFL xD
paiseh,paiseh,paiseh.

sleeping in the canteen benches,is COOL. :D me likeee! and ended up ,somebody was shaking my body trying to wake me up saying" sery! sery! wake up! wake up! food ic! food ic!" two times. D: and it was AZLIN! RAWR. disturbed my sleep D:

*scream*
im gonna miss all thesee D:
camp commitee 08 rocks! love them all.

i got nothing to say,brainwashed.-

next week,its STUDY TIME! arrhhshyt. still in my campstress mood T.T

every monday 8.25am school start! :D WOOHEE.
  



pspsps: i dont like the way i post! so eeeyeeeerrrr D:

haiya. i am soo idunohowtodescribemymoodnow. D: alamak,why am i like that. -.- this is so sery-ish.
feel very aeroiqutpoivxznmeqrhqwpr! >.<
spoil my mood seh.
dad already said that he going to buy me a new phone,but ended up saying that hes lazy ...
whatthehell laaaaaa. im so looking forward to it but he totally spoilt it! *head bang onto the table*
and then i asked my sis to accompany me go somewhere,but she gave me the unhappy face. WTF. 
then next time i dont accompany her lohh! wah lau. pfffffffffffft.

aiyaa,i dont know what to do alrd laaa. its like my life is going to end here. 
oh mygod. why am i being so negative? zz ):
 
i want a new phone
i want (*) xmas present ):
i want to talk to someone
i want to cry
i want a hug!!

baaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ):