I really couldn't take it anymore.

I've always wanted to say a lot of things.
but i just don't know how to express it.

I really wonder who cared for me.
After all i had done contributing for them,i don't feel that i get the credit for it.
I feel insulted.
i feel offended.

Sometimes i really wonder whether am i too friendly towards them or i didn't even spare a thought for myself?
why am i thinking this way?
why am i so friendly?too friendly,to be specific.

I spent my whole day finding out how is a celebrity life like to be?

Like for example, Hilary Duff.
She's a very good famous rich girl.
And she is having a very successful career life.
I admire her sooooooooooooooo much.

And i really wonder how they tolerate all those annoying paparazzi (?)



Angelina Jolie Voight and Hilary Duff rock my world!
(okay,i'm being so random here)

I realised, when i get friendly with people. I get hurt.

I am totally speechless and uncreative person when it comes to ideas.
i have a soft heart.
i get offended too easily.
I can't take hardcore jokes.

Now,i don't even know who to turn to.
Of course,i have my very good friends.
And they are very lovely people.
But they are just not the right person whom i can pour out my feelings.
They would think that i'm weird or just wouldn't care much.
Most probably they would say," you're just thinking too much."
Or rather by saying," Cheer up Sery! "

It has always been the same answer i get.
i feel annoyed.

And it doesn't help.

I'm not the kind of person you might think.

I have been trying my best.
But no one seems to notice.
Okay,well yeah. Like mostly everyone did noticed while we were in HK trip.

Speaking of HK trip, i feel so touched by them.
They gave me their fullest support.
Although, i get the most scoldings and blames from the BIG HEADS.
They got my back.

I LOVE YOU JVCB!

That was my most memorable one i ever had.
i feel like i belong to JVCB.
And that we're bonding.

But after the trip... Things went back to normal. And we had a new challenge.
I found a very true source from my seniors which made me really sad and worried.
At that point of time, i was totally blanked and speechless.
I couldn't think of anything by just stoning there.

But i quickly bring myself back to life and start thinking of a good way.

I couldn't imagine what would they be like if it really happens.
seriously,we will die.

And now, she left me a very responsible job while she is away for japan. I could feel her TRUST on me. I wouldn't want to disappoint her like i did before. I really want us to prove that we could do it.
And i should agree with her that we should be playing grade 4 pieces and above.
In fact,we're secondary school bands.
We should have attained that standard.

And i really believe that WE could do it.
We're left with ONE last practice this friday.
i hope it will go on smoothly.
please JVCB, please prove to HER that we could do it and achieve the GOLD MEDALIST.

I really did play my part for both.
Can say that i am considered as a Band Leader now.

I fell in love with conducting. I tried a lot of ways to improve it. But i was not dared to.
I want to learn more about music.

I'm sorry i was being so strict on you guys.
i have no choice.

You guys took advantage of me when i am being very friendly and nice.
You should be appreciating all these.

Please try putting yourself into my shoes.
i have tons of loads problematic.

i have a fallen EXCO going on.
We're all good friends,but it's hard for us to work together.
it's really frustrating.
And i was once disappointed with the whole exco for not helping me during our HK trip.
I felt hurt for the whole trip.
No,not only for that trip.
None of my exco didn't really do their job.
I was the one who put in more effort into band.

I've been asking myself 'WHY'?

But one thing i'm proud to say is that, i am still standing strong.